Spiritual Shame: The Judgement of Who We Are

Wednesday April 30, 2025

What is spiritual shame? Shame is a word that describes a person’s high degree of embarrassment. Shame is a step deeper than guilt. Guilt says “What I did is bad”; shame says “I am bad”. Shame is an indication of deep wounding on a personal level. It is felt in cases of abuse and often lies at the core of those suffering from addiction. Spiritual shame can show up when someone’s beliefs about spirituality or religion are judged and not accepted. Those who have experienced religious trauma (using religion as a weapon) experience spiritual shame. I also see spiritual shame occurring in the LBGTQ population, as these folks are judged simply for who they love; their very essence of personhood is viewed as being wrong. Spiritual shame is the result of discrimination: when we are treated punitively for who we are. Another way spiritual shame occurs is when people are judged for having spiritual experiences, such as seeing ghosts, visions, etc. This can happen in cases of dissociative disorders and chronic trauma. I specialize in working with this population.

I never knew what spiritual shame was until my memories began to return in the spring of 2008. Along with these memories, I also experienced ghosts, telepathy, voices, visions and angels, all for the first time at age 35. The mix of these two occurrences together created a tidal wave of emotions and panic, culminating in a creation of spiritual shame.

I had completely blocked out traumatic memories of chronic childhood abuse. The memories began to return in 2008 and continue to return to this day. The memories return on their own with no suggestion, provocation or substance use. I have lived like this for over 17 years now. The most recent memory that surfaced was in February of 2025.

Prior to the crisis in 2008, I considered myself to be a spiritually open person with a natural belief in God that was not tied into any religion. At that point I had been exposed to Christian Science through my paternal grandmother, Catholicism through my best friend, Baptist Christianity through my private school, and Episcopalian Christianity through my husband at the time. I was not baptized until I was married and I was confirmed Episcopalian as well. I credit none of these religions as proof that “something else” was out there; I had an internal sense which told me it was. This existing belief seemed to be within me from the very beginning.

Once the first surge of “memories, plus” erupted, my life flew suddenly and dramatically out of control, and months later I crashed into a heap of self betrayal and a shattered self image; this was after a humiliating trial where I was confronted with the content of my memories as well as my spiritual experiences. I was urgently trying to express what had happened to me in childhood but I was not taken seriously, at all. The result was a deep core wound of spiritual shame. At my lowest point, I harbored a fear of what existed most naturally in me, this “animated intuition” (my description) that had been dormant my entire life. I was told that if my experiences were actually spiritual then my life wouldn’t have been in crisis. These folks were 100% incorrect.

The spiritual experiences I had served to balance out the truth that I had desperately needed to remain unaware of to survive. I credit them for giving me a safe place to be. For me the experiences were deeply personal, meaningful, and provided me respite as I fought to integrate this new, frightening reality. I can’t imagine going through the memory experiences without them.

Once I started working with a therapist, I slowly began to examine my unusual experiences and accept the fact that I have an animated intuition. It took me over 2 years of working with my therapist before I shared them due to my severe post traumatic stress. Through our time together I started seeing myself and these unusual traits of mine in a non-judgmental way. She even made the prediction early in our work that I would be someone who helped people with trauma and psychic experiences. She was right, although at the time she said it, I dismissed it as a lofty idea.

My personal example may sound unique and perhaps even unrelatable, but the theme of judging and condemning what is different or not understood has serious consequences. I offer my story as an example to illustrate that what is mysterious is not automatically wrong or something to be feared.

Have you experienced spiritual shame, shame for being simply YOU?